Enjoyed My Vacation and Then I Looked At Pictures

When I was packing for my vacation, I hated everything I was taking.

I didn't feel comfortable in any of it...

Walking around Disney, I really didn't noticed what I looked like

because lets be honest you just want to stay cool so it doesn't matter.

And,

if you have ever been to Disney you know it is not a fashion show!

We had the time of our lives and then I got home and looked at pictures.

One of them really bothered me and I just can't get over it.

I am not sharing this for all the "oh you don't look bad" comments,

not for comments about how to change things,

and for sure no judgement from anyone.

I DON'T CARE what you think, it is how I feel...

I feel FAT.

I feel ASHAMED.

I am feeling MAD because I let myself go.

I am UPSET that I am not being a healthy example for my kids.

I am WORRIED that I can't get it under control.

I am FRUSTRATED that I didn't make more time for myself.

I am HOPEFUL that I can turn things around.

I am ANXIOUS to start working on me.

I am EXCITED to get my kids involved in my journey.

I am DETERMINED to get myself healthy and strong...

not just physically but mentally.

How am I going to do this?

I don't know...

I will start making time for me everyday (the PTA may will have to wait)

I will start with a nutritionist at my gym!

I will walk my dog everyday, no matter how cold it is!

I will take 2 classes every week with my friend Jackie who teaches Zumba!

These are small steps, but big ones for me!

I CAN DO IT!