Enjoyed My Vacation and Then I Looked At Pictures

When I was packing for my vacation, I hated everything I was taking.

I didn't feel comfortable in any of it...

Walking around Disney, I really didn't noticed what I looked like

because lets be honest you just want to stay cool so it doesn't matter.

And,

if you have ever been to Disney you know it is not a fashion show!

We had the time of our lives and then I got home and looked at pictures.

One of them really bothered me and I just can't get over it.

I am not sharing this for all the "oh you don't look bad" comments,

not for comments about how to change things,

and for sure no judgement from anyone.

I DON'T CARE what you think, it is how I feel...

I feel FAT.

I feel ASHAMED.

I am feeling MAD because I let myself go.

I am UPSET that I am not being a healthy example for my kids.

I am WORRIED that I can't get it under control.

I am FRUSTRATED that I didn't make more time for myself.

I am HOPEFUL that I can turn things around.

I am ANXIOUS to start working on me.

I am EXCITED to get my kids involved in my journey.

I am DETERMINED to get myself healthy and strong...

not just physically but mentally.

How am I going to do this?

I don't know...

I will start making time for me everyday (the PTA may will have to wait)

I will start with a nutritionist at my gym!

I will walk my dog everyday, no matter how cold it is!

I will take 2 classes every week with my friend Jackie who teaches Zumba!

These are small steps, but big ones for me!

I CAN DO IT!

A Roller Coaster Ride

Weight loss is like a roller coaster ride...

It has a lot of ups and downs, twist and turns, and bumps along the way!

 

My Ups and Downs:

I was down 6 lbs.

I was up 1 lb.

I am back down 1 lb.

 

My Twists And Turns:

My pants fit.

They don't fit.

And trying on swimsuits is definitely a twist and turn!

(I had to twist and turn my body to get into these stupid things)

 

My Bumps Along The Way:

Oreo Cookies

 

I continue to ride my roller coaster ride of getting healthy!

It will happen and then I will be able to get off this crazy ride!

The End

 

 

Has It Really Been A Year?

It has...

And I would like to tell you that I have dropped to my 8 is great size but nope.... 

Three weeks ago, my friends started a commit group on facebook.  There are about 8 of us that check in and tell about how we are doing with water intake, eating, and exercising.  It is something to keep us accountable.  The first week of this commitment accountability group I wasn't feeling it so I listened and took notes as to what I could be doing when I was fully ready!

Then, I went to my OBGYN 2 weeks ago and we had a great chat!  She is the one doctor that has taken the time to really get to know me!  Not only as a patient but as a person too!  She will be moving out to the Seattle area in the next month, so if you know anyone that needs a rock star doctor out there let me know!  Anyway, she has always talked about my extra belly (my baby condo if you will) and the fact that my mom had ovarian cancer.  It is not the best idea to carry that around!  So we talked about a plan to fix that.

Then at swim lessons that same week, my friend and I were talking about the extra belly fat and she was telling me how she cut out carbs and sugar.  She was a week in and had already lost 5 lbs. and had so much more energy.  I went home that day and decided I would give it a try.  I weight myself.  I can't believe I am going to tell the world this but I weighed 176 lbs. and my heart just sank.  I weighed more then what I weighed with my kiddos in my belly!  WHAT?!

I started doing the no carb, no sugar, and using the 21 day fix by Beach Body to portion out my food!  I also decided to do NO pop (or soda as it's called in some parts) which I thought would be really hard for this diet coke drinker, but it hasn't been.  Earlier this week, my youngest sister and I chatted over text and she decided to do the same thing.  We weighed in and as of the beginning of this week I weighed 172, which means I have had some weight loss!  Even better then that is I have has more energy!

So as I continue this lifestyle change for this week I have decided that my water intake is what I will be working on.  Also, I will be going to the gym at least 3 times this week!  Small steps to a healthier me but as far as I am concerned it is more then I was doing 3 weeks ago!  I will be checking in every Friday, unless something BIG TIME happens between then and now!

p.s.  I haven't had chips in 2 weeks...YEAH ME!

China Made Me Stop

So, I did the Dr. Oz 2 week kick start lifestyle change and had some great results:

• I lost 7 lbs and my tummy seemed to be flatter (water weight I am sure).
• My tummy and butt thanked me!  I didn't have tummy or pooping issues!  Yep, I said that!

No change in energy, but I found myself really focused on what was going into my mouth.

Here is what happened:

When I was doing this I had my partner in crime (my hubs).  When he left for China for work I continued for 2 days and then stopped bc it was easier just to eat what the kids were eating instead of making up separete veggies, ones that I liked and ones that the kids would eat!

So with the hubs back in the country we begin it again!  I will keep you posted on results!

 

Dr. Oz - You Better Be Right!

Yesterday my husband and I started the Dr. Oz 2 week diet.  Yep, we finally started it!  I am not going to lie, it is going to be challenging!  However, I just keep thinking it is only 2 weeks.  So Day 1 was full of a headache!  A migraine (something I haven't had in a LONG time).

I started off my morning with hot lemon water - GROSS!  I am not a hot liquid kind of girl unless it is coffee or hot chocolate.  I busted through that like a rockstar!  It was almost as bad for me when I had to drink that crap for a colonoscopy!  Then I had the shake for breakfast!  YUMMY!  I could drink a million of these!

Dr. Oz Breakfast Smoothie

2 tablespoons rice protein powder

2 tablespoons ground flaxseed (put this in last)

1/2 cup frozen berries

1/2 banana

1 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk

(I add ice because I love it nice and cold)

My little lady and I headed to the Chiropractor and then off to Target for a a blender for the hubs so he could make his shake at work.  While at Target I started getting a headache, so I bought some almonds (which I can have) and popped a few thinking I was hungry.  When I got home I threw some veggies and shrimp on a skillet and chowed down.  So good!  My headache continued throughout the entire day.  Coffee is a no no, but I had a cup with no creamer and some ibuprofen.  My headache went away for awhile but returned about 2 hours later.  For dinner we had a 1/2 a cup of brown rice, chicken, and some avocado. It was delicious.

I had a conference call and had some yogurt with some nuts for crunch as I was still hungry after dinner.  After my conference call, I headed upstairs took a bath, popped some more ibuprofen, and went to bed.  So Day 1 was a little rough for me and I was unable to work out.  That was one thing I was hoping to get in!

Onto Day 2!

Weather and Sickness…need I say MORE?!

First, I will start with the weather…

If you are a midwest gal like I am you will know that we have had snow, subzero temps, and now RAIN and a ton of it.  I picked up our little man from school yesterday and we went to get some frozen yogurt.  During our trip we say a 3 car pile up and almost slid into a minivan ourselves.  Then it took the hubs almost 3 hours to get home from work when it usually takes and hour.  With the slick roads and the dropping temps I decided not to go to the grocery store for my Dr. Oz list.

Second, the little lady in the house has been fighting a fever since yesterday.  

Today was a bad tummy ache on top of the fever.  So we stayed in today because this mama also was feeling a little "OFF" today!  I am hoping that everyone gets a good night sleep and we can start tomorrow.  The grocery store is the first thing on my list!

Since I didn't feel good I didn't eat very much today: a banana, some goldfish, and then I was starving at dinner and had gluten free pizza from Dominos and now I feel like I could get sick!  I think we may have a tiny bug in our house starting with the hubs earlier in the week.  With that said I am on my way to bed!  Yep, it is 8:30 and I am going to bed!  NIGHT!

Where Has The Time Gone and Why Has The Weight Stayed

2 years ago I started this blog.
2 years ago I wanted to start some serious weight loss.
2 years ago I started to watch what I ate.
2 years ago, many diets later, many changes in my weight up and down and I am still here!

With no serious weight loss…

So, I am SICK of it!  I am tired of not sticking to a goal and feeling accomplished.
I want to feel accomplished, successful, and HEALTHY!
I want to look HOT!

My husband and I both started Weight Watchers.  I know a ton of people who have been successful with this life style change.  I am so happy that my hubs is doing this with me!  Together we will MOTIVATE and DOMINATE!

I have had the winter blues.  Another reason why it is hard to get my ass off my couch and to the gym.  So, yesterday I went downstairs to start my day.  I got the kids settled and started making breakfast.  I went to the fridge for some milk and saw 2 of my favorite things…

The beach and Justin Timberlake!

I messaged my husband at work and asked him if he knew anything about the pictures up on the fridge.  He was like, "well yeah" and told me that I needed to figure it out.  So, with the information that I had I started searching.  It looks like this mama is going to see Justin in Miami…REALLY?!…Yep!  Ok, so we are going to South Beach where all the beautiful people are so MOTIVATION and DETERMINATION has totally set in!  Watch me to this…

To be held accountable starting tomorrow for 2 weeks I will be blogging daily.  Not only are we doing weight watchers, but Dr. Oz has a 2 week diet and we are doing it!  You can find all the information here: http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/dr-ozs-rapid-weight-loss-plan-one-sheet  Let me know if you are going to join me!!

So here we go 2 weeks!  BRING IT!

Swimsuit shopping...UGH!

I need a new swimsuit...
I shopped for a new swimsuit...
I cried in the dressing room...
I left without a new swimsuit...

Getting Naked

Ok, have you seen this movie?!  It's Friends With Benefits and you can see it here by clicking on this link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1632708/.

I have seen it before and LOVED it!  So when it was on randomly last night I started to watch it and ryan also watched it with me!  Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis both get naked in this movie!  It takes a lot of balls probably to get in front of cameras naked!  I have a hard time walking from my bathroom to my dresser to get dressed in the morning naked!

Now if I looked like her I would walk around EVERYWHERE naked!  I know you can't do that but I TOTALLY would!  I mean EVERYWHERE!  I am hoping to continue to try to get to the point where I love being naked!

And who wouldn't love being naked next to Justin Timberlake!?  Am I right ladies?!

Until next blog................

Some People AMAZE Me

There are people in my personal life who AMAZE me everyday and there there are people that I don't even know that do the same thing:

I stumbled upon this man's story today and was AMAZED!  If you have a minute please read this article: http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2013/03/terminally-ill-dad-marathon-daughter-iram-leon/

And if you would like to see his entire story follow his blog: Picking Up A Hitchhiker

Although the people in my lives and stories that I come across may be different situations, ALL of them seem to AMAZE me equally!!

A Long Time A Coming

Ok, I have been missing in action for a while now and just wanted to catch you up on things..

I have been dealing with a ton of stress and eating from the pantry like crazy.  My little man has been 18 days into a tonsiletomy with a trip to the ER 7 days into his first surgery.  We've been cooped up, unable to get out of the house, and it has been snowing like crazy.  One would be a little stir crazy, which is an understatement for everyone in my family right now - NOT just me!

I was able to get out of the house to get a hair cut and go get some new skinny jeans.  I went to New York and Company when they were having there buy one pair get one free sale and I found some really fun jeans.  SIZE 8 - I know you can all cheer for me NOW!

So some of the girls that I craft with decided to run in the color run this summer.  I debated, debated, and debated!  Finally, yesterday I decided what do I have to loose!  I ran the Dirty Girl with obstacles last year and this one has NO obstacles!  So I am in!  I will be running it in August!

So now for the training.....and GO!

Stress Eating

Stress Eater...I am one...a BIG one!  Lately, this mama has been STRESSED!  

There is a lot of stuff going on and I am dealing with it in food and not exercise!  

Wish it were the other way around so here is my confession!

The list of stress foods for me are:

1. Cheetos (lately it has been the puff kind)
2. Mac and Cheese
3. M&M's (you know the ones that are supposed to go to the potty training kid when they go potty)
4. Oreos (they are not in my house but when I have a week moment I get them and eat them ALL)
5. Diet Coke (2 a day, when I was down to maybe one every 3 days)
6. Ice Cream (Lucky for me we don't have it in the house anymore and I am to lazy to go get it)

It is weird because yesterday I found myself in the pantry, getting the Cheetos, and standing there eating out of the bag!  REALLY!  I wasn't even hungry!  Stop the MADNESS!  So as of today I am telling you that I am going to be more aware of my pantry choices and the things I am putting in my mouth!  Instead of sneaking into the pantry, I should get my butt on the elliptical!

NO MORE STRESS EATING!

It has been a LONG time...

My apologies...

I always wear black!  It's just my thing!  I sweat to much to wear something with color, especially in the  armpit area so black it is!  However, remember when I was in the city with my sister and bought a new dress?!  You remember the trip where I was asked if I was my 31 year old sisters mother, YEP that one and I bought a green dress...

Well I wore it in Texas!  

Everyone else in my family wore black so I stuck out like a sore thumb!  LITERALLY!  We boogied on the dance floor and although I had a fantastic time getting my groove on I looked at one picture and wanted to vomit, puke coming up my throat vomit!

Yep this is the one...

I could point out everything that drives me nuts about it but I won't!  

Or I can sit back and look at what it really is... 

Two sisters dancing to "Shout" in TEXAS!

Pink

She is so sexy right?!  I think she is and when I saw her in Las Vegas and actually swam in the same pool as her last weekend in Vegas she is even sexier in person!

She was in Vegas for the I Heart Radio Music Festival.  I think she is beautiful!  And to make it even sexier, she is just a regular mom like me.  She was splashing around in the pool, smiling, laughing, splashing, and making her daughter smile.

Hey I do that too!  She is a MOM!

A HOT mom at that and has become my inspiration to get my butt in gear!  I want to be Pink!  She is fit, her arms are so tone, and she is one HOT mom!

What the HECK is That?

Did anyone figure this out?  

Hint:  I have written about this beautiful thing before in my blog about bras.

Well, I can tell you that I wore my bra all day today and I even wore it when I didn't have to (while I was reorganizing the pantry).  Anyway, my shoulder started hurting so I want to check out what the heck was going on and this is what I saw!

Do you see the indentation that my bra makes on my shoulder!  Yep, no wonder my neck, back, and shoulders hurt all the time!  My boobs weigh a ton!  Do you remember the kid in Jerry Maguire that said, "The human head weighs 8 lbs".  Well, my boobs have to weigh that much plus some.  Has anyone had this problem, and what did you do about it!

I have lost a total of 12, give or take 2 pounds either way on somedays, but my boobs remain!  What the crap?  I will keep working out, but I will tell you this...

IF I DON'T LOOSE THE BOOBS I MAY HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

It would be great to be pain free and not have a lovely tattoo engraved into your shoulder!

Per Miss St. Louis's Request

Nothing new on the weight loss front.
There are 2 things that I know if I am going to loose this weight...

1. Quit Buying Snacks for My Kids (they don't eat them I do)
2. Get My Butt Off The Couch and Quit Playing Song Pop against Miss Missouri

That is really just it.  If I quit putting snacks in my mouth and go for a walk it will help a TON!

There Miss St. Louis...There is your post!  Thanks for getting me remotivated (is that even a word).  I am going to go with it probably means: MOTIVATED AGAIN!

colonoscopy...what?!

I never thought that at 36 years old I would be getting a colonoscopy, however for the last year of my life (maybe 2 years) I have been having some issues with my bowels and tummy.

I went to the doctor about 3 weeks ago to talk to him about my issues.  When I arrived this was the 1st time I was in this office meeting this doctor.  I was hoping he would be old and ugly...nope, I would be talking POOP with a kid that was 2 years younger then me and a nice looking young man!  Figures!

Dr. Atlas is the man!  If you know me you know I am a worry wart and when we were talking he said "colonoscopy" and I immediately thought the worse and tears started coming down my face.  He was very comforting and reassuring so I scheduled it and prepared myself for a crazy ride.

I went on vacation with my family and really didn't think much about the procedure while I was there!  My mom, dad, 2 aunts, my uncle, and my grandma have all had one and they all told me the procedure was not bad at all.  It was the prep that I was worried about!  So this past Wednesday I picked up my large paper bag (you know the ones we used to hide our 40s in) and had it ready to go in the morning.

Thursday morning came and I mixed my first 32 oz of my cocktail.  I smelled it and it didn't smell so bad at all.  Kind of like sprite with a little lemon smell.  So I stuck it in the fridge to get it nice and cold for my 3 o'clock date at the colonoscopy bar!  At 3, I took my first sip and I threw up!  No JOKE!  I called the nurse at the doctor's office and was like what the heck...she told me to take a sprite chaser...ok!  The cocktail already tasted like a sprite with a gallon of salt poured into it and you want me to chase it with a sprite...Whatever!  So I did and I also chased it with some Gatorade!  I did it and got the 1st 32 oz. down, but wait...I only had an hour to recover and had to get the 2nd 32 oz. down.  Put a fork in me I am done!

So, I prepared my other drink and put it in the fridge to cool (knowing it really didn't matter), however I thought cold would be better then warm.  When my hour was up, I started taking down gulps of the cocktail with my many different chasers.  Was it better this time around...NO!  I was plugging my nose, sipping my cocktail, rocking it out, and got to the last 4 oz!  I was so grateful to be almost done.  I quickly took down the last 4 oz. and as fast as I took it down it came back up!  Lovely right!?  I was done...To be honest with you - The drinking part was the worst...I didn't even mind the pooping!

The next day I dropped the kids off at my friends house and my hubby and I took off to the hospital.  Everyone there was so nice.  They were really busy and I had several nurses helping me out!  The cute anesthesiologist came in, talked to me about what was going to happen, put the iv in me, and they wheeled me to the procedure room!  That is when Dr. Atlas got called up to another floor to do something so I had to wait.  Thank goodness I had the best nurse in Miss Donna who was willing to explain everything to me and tell me that she was going to be in the room with me and that I was her only concern!  I loved her!  She sang while she worked!  Then the anesthesiologist came in the gave me something to relax me (which made me silly) and all of the sudden I was out and done!

Dr. Atlas said I look fine...some inflammation that they are looking at but nothing big!  A little gastritis because they also had to scope my throat but over all - my colon (which is 5 feet long, can you believe that) looks pretty!

Vacation.....FAT

I feel like everything I have worked for totally went out the window on vacation!  I told myself to be food strong while I was there...NOPE...the temptations were to much for me and I enjoyed the food:

• chips and AE dip (if you are from Iowa, then you know what I am talking about)
• bacon and eggs on a greasy skillet chased down with a couple pancakes with peaches
• no  lunch because I was busy getting kids lunch and putting them down for nap
• no lunch = snacking on CRAP (usually chips and dip)
• i drank diet coke like it was going out of style
• i ate a decent dinner but chased that down with beer, brownies, and ice cream

So, it is back to the food grind after my colonoscopy on Friday.  Nothing to be concerned about, just a couple issues that need to be resolved so I can quit my silly worrying!  Until Saturday...BRING IT!

Seriously...Open Mouth Insert Foot

It has been a while since the race, but I just wanted to let everyone know that I am still continuing my quest to be a skinny mama!  This weekend however I ate my fair share of bad food...

• 1/2 grilled cheese (but I had a salad instead of soup so that is good right)
• garlic bread with blue cheese fondue
• a glass of wine
• sushi, fried calamari, fried shrimp, and crab cakes
• a carona light
• a carmel latte from Starbucks with a berry coffee cake

Ok...so that about covers it.  However, I did it with my sister, in Chicago, at Michael Jordan's restaurant, and at Shaw's Crab House!  If you have never been to any of those you need to save your cheat day and GO!

Here is were things get nasty...

I was at Macy's shopping with my younger sister by only 5 years.  I bought this hot green dress for a couple weddings this fall and as I was checking out the lady at the counter asked (and I am not joking)"

"Are you in town for a mother/daughter weekend?"

Seriously, If my sister is 31 years old and she thinks I am her mom then that puts me at what?  

Wow...OPEN MOUTH, INSERT FOOT!  I wanted to fly over the counter and start choking her!?  REALLY?!  Then I ran past a friends house to pick up some trucks for our sandbox...Yep, you guessed it...Her neighbor asked if I was her mother?!  Seriously!!  I feel like I may need to invest in some anti-aging cream!

So as the weekend in Chicago came to an end so did the crazy eating!  Jump right back on the "healthy eating" train tomorrow!!  Good night!

You Dirty Girl You

Well remember this post about I Want To Be A Dirty Girl well on Sunday I was one!

Thank you to my friends Mickey and Lindsay for running with me!

And yes....I RAN!

I ran over 3/4 of the way!

Am I a runner...NOPE, but I did it and I had a great time!

At this point in the race I was struggling, dripping in mud, and HOT!

I looked up as I rounded the corner and my husband and my kids surprised me!

They cheered me on over the climbing wall and under the cargo net!

I was so happy to see them!

 (Lindsay...I just noticed I spelled your name wrong)

 I was a mess!

It was the most awesome feeling to finish my first race!

Am I excited for my next running adventure!

BRING IT!

"You Dirty Girl You"